I haven’t blogged for well over a week now, so when I went to write a blog that basically consisted of ranting I thankfully stopped short of actually publishing the thing and reassessed. Phew, lucky us.
Anyway, this last week has been BUSY! It’s involved a lot of thinking and not much doing really, but my brain has been busy and that has to count for something. I’ve picked up my guitar again and have written a few ditties and melancholy tunes, it’s a way to take a break from study that doesn’t involve the art of mastication (great word) – which has developed into my number one form of procrastination (rhyme not intended). I’ve taken to the kitchen a lot lately and have made some pretty amazing dishes. I’ve had more than one breakfast this week that has taken a decent half an hour to execute. One school morning I took the time to make a tomato and sage omelette on a bed of alfalfa sprouts, pureed beetroot and delicious toast, and last night I stayed up way past midnight baking banana bread…so when I say my energy has been slightly misdirected, this is no exaggeration. But at least my procrastination has had some tangible outcomes.
So this rant I was on, it was about ‘negging’. I’m feeling a little less fired up now so I’m going to attempt to write something much more cohesive and thought provoking.
Negging is something I only recently discovered, and had the displeasure of experiencing. To neg means to subtlety insult someone you are trying to pick-up, therefore lowering their own feeling of value and self worth and consequently raising your own. How sadistic is that? You go out, set your sights on someone you like, walk over, engage in conversation and slowly tear them apart. Common forms of negging include making negative comments on a persons outfit, drawing attention to something physical such as sweaty palms or indicating disinterest in what they have to say.
I’ve had this happen to me, and it’s not cool. I was out with two friends and as I was planning to see a friends band afterward I was dressed up but in that practical way that people who catch a lot of public transport tend to. At one point my friends went off to get drinks and a guy approached me, sat down and asked if he could tell me something. ‘Greeattttt’ I thought in my head, but politely smiled and went along with it. He then made several points on how I could improve my outfit and overall look and then asked me if I was insulted. I just shrugged, I didn’t wholly care what he thought, as the only influence he had had in my life thus far was two minutes of unwanted feedback. He then made some small talk, asked me what I did for work, what I was doing that night and some vague questions about my interests…obviously he sensed he was not one of them though and quickly retreated back to his VIP table of which he was the sole occupant. As unfazed as I felt, it was nice to bump into another friend later that night and have her yell, ‘damn girl, you look sexy!’
I had basically forgotten about this experience until today, when a friend told me that she had experienced negging on the weekend. She had been chatting to a guy at a house party who cut her off mid-sentence and told her that he was bored with the conversation. She said okay and told him she would go and talk to someone else. He questioned who she would talk to in a tone that suggested her options were pretty limited and asked if she was even going to try and win the situation back. He definitely chose the wrong girl to try this on, because, for her, winning meant walking away and spending the rest of the party with people who know she’s a keeper.
Negging seems like a pretty vacuous exercise and something that I’m not willing to grow accustomed to. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and will usually chat to a guy at a bar if he seems nice and genuinely interested in knowing me for more than 24 hours, but I feel sorry for the next person who tries anything remotely resembling negging on me, it ain’t going to be pretty…
And on another note, I am a big fan of Postsecret. On any given Sunday you can usually find me curled up in bed poring over the Postsecret website. Last week, this video was posted – it’s definitely worth having a look at.