I’m coming down from a trip overseas, a beautiful weekend spent at the beach and a slightly cliche cigarette smoked hastily on a balcony in the rain.
Life is sweet, why does it seem even sweeter when you’re heady with the smoke of death polluting your lungs and your mind? I’m not sure, but it feels good.
I’ve had a packet of cigarettes floating around in my bag this last week. And just now, after smoking a cigarette in a foggy backyard of suburban Melbourne, I danced lazily around the lounge room consumed by a sense of self-indulgence and guilt. Okay, so the packets in the bin now and I’m feeling a little less high. I know it’s a bad habit, every body knows that, but there is still something soothing about lighting up, especially when you are surrounded by a claustrophobic darkness. There’s a thrill to it, still, even after 11 centuries of inhalation.
So, what’s new? I’m enjoying life in my little way. My car (lemon) broke down by the beach this weekend. It broke my determination to be independently mobile, I’m getting rid of the damn thing as soon as it’s back on the road. I can’t be stuffed having something that drinks petrol, gas and money. Stuff it.
The trip overseas was everything I imagined it would be. I’m….hhmm, I’m lost for words to describe it properly and I’m a little over saying ‘it was greattttt’ to the occasional person that asks. It was great, but that doesn’t seem fitting. It was an immersion into a family and community. It was lots of laughs, some suppressed tears and unlike a lot of the trips I’ve already done….so yes- in a nutshell- it was great.
I feel I should put up some pictures that capture moments, etc,… but this blog is really just an opportunity to procrastinate for a while before I go off to bed, and I’m sitting on my couch for the first time since I moved into this house a month ago, so moving is not a priority right now.
Other things – I’m still addicted to Matt Corby’s song Brother. Especially the live recording he did for Triple J, that man knows how to pull several strings at once.
Here’s a taste, if you’re interested –
I’ve many emails and letters to write. I should really start meditating again, I seem to be a little ball of angry energy lately. The tiniest things seem to set me off and then I spend a good part of my day feeling embarrassed and ashamed. It’s always good to speak to someone in times like this, but sometimes the people you want to speak to need to talk to you just as bad.