Writing not thinking.

This last week has been interesting, I’ve learnt new things about old friends and I am seeing things ina different way. I’ve never been that shocked by a new friend, they tell me things and I can accept it because I haven’t established certain expectations of them…at least that is how I feel about it. But old friends, they can turn your head inside out with a simple gesture that is deemed out of character.

I seem to quite consistent and rarely surprise my friends. The few times I can think of have been the direct result of a few too many drinks or questionable cigarettes. I’m regularly surprised by my self and unwillingness to bend or change and the annoying habit I have developed of speaking  A LOT in my sleep. I asked my sister in a creepy possessed voice at 5 AM how she was the other day….

I’ve been thinking about social suicide lately. I feel like I am stuck in a rut that I desperately need to escape and the idea of taking quite a few months time out of my current existence is becoming more and more appealing. I’m determined to finish my twelve month contract with the library, but after that I’m also pretty tempted to delay finishing my degree and spend six months to a year just getting whatever seems to have lodged itself in my conscience out of my system.

Thoughts that are popping up in my mind to regularly to be ignored.


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