I thought I’d write about distance, because it seems to have become a big factor in my life.
I guess I started thinking about this the other night when I was emailing a good friend who I haven’t seen for several months now, then I heard a light knock on the door. It was my best mate, Holly. I haven’t seen her for weeks and we had one of those intense, tight hugs that you can only give someone you love, seemingly unfailingly. I tore myself away from the computer and we just sat and talked. We talked for hours, then my sister and dad came home and we all talked some more. I even had a moment where I sat back and thought how lucky I was to have such people in my life. On one couch sat my dad, who is just a bit of a rock for me- then on the floor was my sister, we are like chalk and cheese when it comes to personality- but for some reason it works so well…then there was Holla, who you would mistake as my sister if you just heard the way we wind each other up. Lately, I’ve really noticed how little I get to see Holla, my parents and even my sister (who I live with). It seems like there just isn’t enough time in the day or on the weekend to see these people.
I guess that was all about actual distance, but lately I have noticed how some of my friendships have faded and how I have grown distant with those people. Sometimes it isn’t intentional, sometimes it is….it’s amazing how someone can be such a big part of your life, and then something happens- you notice you’ve changed, or they have and somehow the conversation no longer flows, you feel uptight or when you laugh you look to see if they really do find it funny.
It’s such a strange stage and even though it sad when a friendship fades, it is also a relief to lose the awkwardness.
I don’t really know where this is going, it’s just a feeling.